Dinner with Mrs. Alaska

2 years ago today my husband was on his third deployment over seas. I was at home with two children for going on what would be 18 months while my house was collapsing around me. My husband was about to miss our sons 13th birthday and our daughters 6th, Our 10 year anniversary and the second birthday for me in a row.He missed the boiler going out, the dishwasher breaking, my truck breaking twice and me taking a crow bar to walls to relieve stress.I am not alone , this story almost seems common among military spouses. We actually say when your spouse deploys if it can go wrong it will, and then we say and do not tell you husband or wife ever!What can they do? They are sitting across the world, we are here crying ,screaming, frustrated and yet we don't say a single word to them. we bottle it up so they think everything is wonderful back home and we rely on the support systems we have made around us.In the Army, more than half of our Soldiers are married, with more than 700,000 children.And for our 500,000 spouses and 700,000 children, six years of war is uncharted territory. This is the longest conflict we have fought with an All Volunteer Force.When a married Soldier deploys, he or she leaves behind a single parent household, and all the challenges of that family dynamic. When a single parent deploys, he or she leaves the child in the care of others.One deployment is hard; two is harder; and three are harder still.Twelve months were hard; fifteen months are harder. Holidays - Christmas -they always are hard.But military Families hang together. They help each other out - neighbors helping neighbors. In the military, the bond of Family extends beyond bloodlines. Military Families take care of Military Families.Our children watch how we cope and they take on the same persona's.They end up bottling frustration , sadness, anger . Grades slip in school,they sometimes become reclusive. I cant imagine how hard it is on a child to watch one of their parents wait until bedtime to cry , so it isn't done in front of them , but yet the kids can hear. Or how hard it must be to hear about the war on TV or at school all day long and never just get to be a kid.Not worrying about either one of your parents. Just a normal kid, playing ,laughing a true laugh.They are mothers and fathers who have lost their beloved children to war.They are husbands and wives keeping the family going while their spouses are deployed. They are grandparents, aunts and uncles, sisters and brothers who are taking care of children while single moms or dads in uniform are away.These are the kids whose dads have often missed their births, whose moms have sometimes missed their first steps, and who are often lacking one parent or another at their ballet recitals, their big games, and their everyday moments and crises at school.March 11, 2009 the House passed a resolution to make this year, 2009 the Year of the Military Family. This will be a year we bridge together our communities and our military base and posts. No longer are we two separate enties we are one. We live in the communities , we work here, our children go to public schools off post. We are your neighbor, co worker, your doctor,your favorite sales person, Our kids are on the same teams with your kids,they sit beside each other in school, they are friends. For a civilian, it's hard to fathom the stress a military family faces when a parent and spouse is sent to combat zones in Iraq or Afghanistan. Long, and often multiple,wartime deployments take a toll not only on the service member on the front lines but on family members back at home. There is increasing awareness that military families, especially the children, can be significantly affected when a parent is deployed, and there is even greater psychological wear and tear when there are multiple deployments.There are more then 2.4 million Troops in the United States Services.In Alaska more then 23,000 Troops call Alaska home, we have the highest rate of veterans per ca pita almost 74,000. There are almost 3 million people who are Family members .Our Families deserve a quality of life equal to the quality of their service. We cannot get careless and retreat from our commitment to the families as President Bush said,"Our military families also sacrifice for America. They endure sleepless nights and the daily struggle of providing for children while a loved one is serving far from home. We have a responsibility to provide for them.... Our military families serve our nation, they inspire our nation and tonight we honor them.Our military isn't just the great Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen,Marines and Guardsmen. It includes families ." We owe it to our soldiers to pray for them together. We must support one another through our mutual patriotism. Lend a helping hand to the military family in your neighborhood. While their mothers and fathers fill a void in a community half the world away, we can fill the void they have left, temporarily, in ours. I am challenging each one of you .Something as simple as offering help with car pool duty can make the world of difference to a parent who's trying to hold the family together during a very stressful time. Join me in helping to make a difference in the life of a military family.